Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year mark in recuperation, but will never disremember where I have come from with gambling dependence.
I lost my loved ones, my jobs, my honour, everything except my marriage; It took up my finances, and I almost killed myself. Concurrently, I was as well hurting from unknown physiological & emotional health challenges and ailments I had no idea about till 2002.
I came from the deepness of hell, desperation, and hopelessness.
One morning, I found myself in a hospital with both wrists of mine shrouded in bandages while before losing consciousness I overheard a discussion about my suicide attempt and how so many sharp objects were found in the sitting room of my residence. All I recall was everything going dull in nothingness. Presently I know it was an entire personality and body separate. A mental/emotional blackout. After that, I went to see a dependence/emotional crisis centre.
I was on suicide view the first few days. Not long after, a psychiatrist began to work with me. And indisputably, I was an impulsive gambler also. I began making regular visits to an addiction expert to treat my gambling disorder.
Before that, I tried to cure my gambling addiction on my own because I felt like I could hold myself, but it did not work, I got back to gambling several times, even when I was in the treatment centre. But it seemed like I could still go on with my life.
Indeed, even following a 20 day remain in an emergency focus and suicide endeavour!
It's called ADDICTION. It is an illness and a problem that is hard but possible to get over. And it turned out It was not the last time I should fight this sickness.
Not resulting from seriously betting, because of the financial pressures from this ailment, I had another self-murder attempt in 2006 as it appeared I had not done equal to what is needed in every aspect of recovery, including my financial inventory.
First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan. In 2006 I thought I could have a normal life without pills and treatment for my mental illness. I quit all the medications with a reasoning that my gambling habits were responsible for me having a mental imbalance, nervousness, sleeplessness and bipolar disorder. So, in a period of two weeks with no medications? I was back to intense depression and wanting to commit self-murder. My answer? I took every one of my meds on the double. I had gotten to that dim, dark gap of misery once more.
I got back to the hospital again, with 16 days in the crisis centre and being watched for suicide attempts.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recuperation with even pessimistic encounters, dispersed with some "faith" can show us various life teachings in recuperation. In the event that we are not learning them, we won't see our development. Issues outside your addiction problem can still surface and having that prepped up mentality would be essential.
First, the usual behaviours when we struggle with the addiction needs to be cut and give ourselves a chance to really recover ourselves, believe that we can change the habits. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. During the therapeutic process, endeavour to acquire the necessary knowledge which can cut the addictive tendencies and then end the loss of discipline, negations and alibis.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. It is as necessary to agree as Step one, complete surrender.
What's more, third, having a firm 'Backslide Prevention Plan' is an absolute necessity for any individual who comes into recuperation and needs it long haul. We all are aware that life events happen. These occurrences are not just catastrophic, but there are also joyful activities.
This accounts for the multitudes of questions by several popular sites when checking if you are addicted to gambling. It is the reason they posture #19.) "Did you ever have a desire to commend any favourable luck by a couple of hours of betting?" My answer was in the affirmative to the above question since I would rather relax and make merry by gambling even when I receive positive news. However, my dependence was very serious I required anything I could pick up to recover, not only Gamblers Anonymous.
I attended gatherings and met a lot of people which assisted me tremendously; the experience of other individuals with cases similar to mine kept me adequately informed of the level of deception inherent in gambling addiction. GA told me that it is crucial for me to be right by other addicts' side during their recovery, because they need us just like when I needed others' supports.
We require to commence a speech regarding this still hush, hush dependence. We need to disassemble the myths that have been growing in our society about this sickness and open the eyes of the sufferer of dual diagnose. Yes, mental/enthusiastic sickness in recuperation can be a testing undertaking, however I trust by sharing some of my encounters, quality, and trust, and sharing some of my stories can be a case that recuperation is conceivable, and we can lead cheerful, sound, and beneficial lives in recuperation!